The past couple of days have been interesting. Lemme think.

Okay Tuesday (im all about days here) i was really tired and at lunch, Adi came into school. why? well because she had ‘a lot’ of work to do. i have never gotten to sleep in or miss a day of school for school work… So i kinda started off on her and ranted about it. I said something like “you should never skip school for a paper or shit or word or anything!” … ha. Well, Adi was looking off and smiling and i looked and anele was right there. Adi said she skipped word stuff. and i just said thats her problem and walked away. I told andie about it the next day and she said call em out! but it would be better nicer… haha yeah, nice. I don’t think i am nice. whatever…
Well speaking of Wednesday, Andie time was nice. It was awesome actually until halfway into it, she tells me she had some news….
DUDE this was terrible really. She tells me she is going to chill… uhh. damn i thought. she told me i didn’t need a discipler anymore either… i seriously wanted to cry.. and eventually did. and blew up at my dad… so it kinda sucked but i was still happy? i mean like the more not-depressed i get, the more i am bad?? well i know i havent been all too horrible since my episode but after not being bad, once i was stupid it really hurts to get yelled at.. whatever,

skip to FRIDAY:
Well, the seniors left… yeah it was pretty sad for some people. Like katie was torn up about josh zivny leaving (heehee whatta loser) JK. And jocelyn was sad an=bout her frind dan, i was sad about tall hot guy *(yeah riiighht lol), lauren cried cause her bff left, and coutrney realized there were less people in the school… lol it was funny.

Overall, it was a good day. I slept, finished the bathrooms, and then went to cell. At anele’s house, Mia brought me a Jr. Whopper… (so b was kinda right) i hadnt eaten anything so after eating taht, then popcorn, then cupcakes… i got sick and a headache and just wanted to sleeep, which i felt bad about cause i was at Jeffis’s party.. but it was fun, and i hope he had a good time because hes awesome. and he turned 18. and we played psichiatrist (NOT spelled right but if you read it, youll get it).

SATURDAY:
i went to target with hilary. man she is such a great friend. i mean really. she talks like A LOT but its not like she talks about her the whole time. she has concerns for her friends and she always makes me talk about stuff thats bothering me… so its not like she dominates (sometimes she does if we are with a lot of peopele) but together, its really fun.
She has some family issues. who am i kidding, she has a lot. with her mom. And she tells me about them as soon as we walk into target.
“i have to thank you for getting me out of my house!”
uhh what do i say to that!!??
“Why whats goin on?”
she tells about her mom always yelling at her and her brother.. her brother going to st. louise for college. Her mom tells them things like ‘i cant believe i gave birth to a spawn of satan’… WTF!!! and her family is christian… i know she is a christian but hasnt been to church in awhile. she told me like a month ago taht she would like to check out mine but with an invitational every saturday and meets thursdyas, she hasnt been able to. (and she has family over all day today which she is also upset about :[. )
So her brother tells her he cant wait to get far away from here and not coming back on breaks.. wow, i dont think i have ever felt that way.
And now hilary wants to go to hawaii (lol) or harvard for college. like somewhere away from here and her family. I just think that is so sad. And she is always doing stuff for oter people but how can i help her with this? So if anyone reads this, join me in praying for her and her family. i’m sad for her.

BUT,
J-BUTT wants to hang and i think shes starting to feel lonely. this is a GOOD thing! she is one person i had tried to get to word and then stopped for awhile. she is actually seeking me out trying to hang out. (she isnt one to seek, everyone else usually flocks towards her.) Everyone who is her friend has had a jbutt issue, im sure. where one feels they are just another person to her. She told me once that she saw me as a person that really listens and she feels i care about her, which is good news to me seeing as though i am a mean person around here, i guess… Its weird, my non christian friends tell me how much i listen and how they feel i care for them (like jbutt, katie did, courtney and katie m.) this is cool and i feel cool. but i come to word and nicole goes, elli is mean. adi says i am not a good listener at all (though asta contradicts this, word up to ya sista.) and that makes me want to be mean. and i dont see myself being TAHT mean but i guess i am terrible… thats something i have to work on for sure. How is it that i am better with non christians? maybe they are just more intersting… just kidding, lol. im gunna stop talking now.

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23 seems to be my number today. You know, its 23 cent pizza day. I missed 23 questions on a science test. I haven’t done that 23 problem worksheet. Feels like i have tried talking to 23 people about this stupid superlatives list. and LeBron (23) better do amazing tonight.

So, its funny listening to people talk about the 23cent pizza thing. Other people said they didnt think it should be this big of a deal. hey, its pretty stupid but if i get a pizza, i am so totally all over that.
hahaha…im so extremely tirrred right now. and shelly is visiting journalism so immonna goooo!!

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“Oh…”
Awkward silence. You know what they say, every awkward silence a gay baby is born. I thought i’d fill the space.
“So i’ll be seeing you?”
“Uh yeah. You’re not mad, are you?” he said to the ground. For a big boy he looked kind of helpless.
“Oh no, i understand… Bye,” I turned to walk away swearing at everything i saw.
Walking home is always the worst part. Every break-up I have ever gone through, i have to walk home, but its the worst part. Walking through the woods and on the dark streets seeing your destination but the strain in your throat and the tears choking you stops you from going in. It may be horrible for me but its better than the awkward silence during the car ride home. Sitting next to the bitch that just tore your heart out isn’t very awesome at all.
Sucking it up as i saw headlights coming from around the corner, a speeding car screeched to a hault in front of me. Lil Wayne blaring as the window rolled down, two big brown eyes stared up at me. With a smile on his face and a swift flick of his hand, the door was open for me to take my place next to D.
Silence except for D singing, i was able to calm down. He always knew when i was angry and let me have my space, for his own good of course. If he didn’t, i would probably rip his head off.
Sensing my stability he said in a loud sanguine voice, “What’s up with you Blonde Booty?”
Heehee, he’s so cute of course he knew how to make me smile. And how was that even funny? It was just him, his whole personality was just a ball of sunshine.
“Not much D baby.”
“Thats a lie.”
“I know.”
“So…?”
“Mitch ended it.”
“Another one bites the dust.”
“Yup.”
“Well, are you okay?”
“Yeah…” lie, “his loss.” Lie again.
Mitch was the love of my life, the fifth one anyway. We were the best of friends, for abot a wee, then we started going out to the clubs togther and stay out late down town. One thing led to another and then he broke up with me. My whole life died before my eyes like a salt covered slug shrinking in the sun-light, that slug being what i relied on, my heart beat, just my life. You see, he was the only friend i had for awhile. gave up everyone else-everything else- for him. I look back on myself and realize how stupid i was. I dunno but after all that, D was here for me now, and i dont know how i cant screw this one up.

Dropping me off, i waved and waited for him to leave before i went in. Sitting alone in the dark spring can gt pretty lonely but its better than facing the family. D knew this. He knew all about me not being able to talk to my family. He tried to confront me on this once, i slapped him and ran away. And ruthfully, m not sure why i hate thm so much. All they do is… well i dont know. I havent seen them in a week or two.

Seeing as though he wasnt leaving, i rolled my eyes and walked to he door. With a flicker of headlights for encouragment, i turned the door knob. I didnt have to finish te job as a little mexican women opened the door yelling things in he language with a big smile on her face.

“Hi mama,” i said with a smile.

“Oh muchacha, who are you, and what have you done with my rubia?” means blonde, rubia means blonde. Thats one word i know and growing up blonde wasnt only a hair color, it was my whole personality. MY personality. How i was blonde and spoiled, thats what it meant.

It smelled like cat and a faint wiff of bird poop at the opening of the small hallway. I followed Gloria through the house as she called out recent family news to me.

“Senor!” after a pause, stepmama tuned to me with a smile, “Mira la television.” I nodded.

“Well, go se him!”

“Oh, los ciento.”

Walking up the stairs, the memories made me all warm inside. Seeing Gloria, Paul, Stevie and me all happy again made me ust remember our good times.

Paying no attention, anyone can just walk into Paul’s room and find themselves cryiing twenty minutes later.

“Hi Papa.”

The gray head stood up and hugged me. “Juana,” using my baby name just stabbed me through the heart.

Tears.

Took me twenty seconds.

After settling down for the second time tonight, he asked me about how ive been doing, of course. oasdfhasbduiaduahduiasdgsksdhaiusdaiuhauishdiuhsiudhisugdcbhxzui8zyd

…to be continued, most likely not. though i am liking the D character but i have to work on the girl’s personality before i go on. i was just going off of whatever came to my mind. more solid plot. okay bye.

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i loove Friays!

Friday i got to go to the South Street party the kids earned. I actually didnt think i coul go seeing as though i only went for the first time that tuesday. It turns out that Anele was the only ‘kid’ from our Xenos going. She hooked me up with a ride from Andrea and we all went down together. Man are those kids cute! Before we left we had like a dance party. Starting with Taymar, this real cute and friendly little boy, everyone started dancing. Except for craig, i dont think he did.

Well after the danceing and singing on the playground, we were off to Rocky’s. During th drive, we were talking and following Craig. Well we got some-what lost but ended up at the building eventually. me and anele were planning to go to the talent show afterward so i didnt have enough money to skate. but then i realized i had 7 and it was 7 so i just went. i didnt fall once! but keeping up with those kids was freakin hard!! so i just said hi whenever they lapped me.

At Rocky’s, if you have ever been there you would know they have a light-up dance floor thing with 2 walls of mirrors. For most of the time, sarah was located there. Accompanied or alone, shoes or skates, whenever i looked over she was there. So i was thinking of going over there when Soulja Boy tell Em ‘Cank that’ came on. I jumped off of the separater i was sitting on and watched her and another boy Crank That. And then i jumped in. :)

It was funny how surprised she was that i knew the dance. She called acouple of kids over and was like “she can do the dance!” so we did it together. Upon tuning around, i see abunch of xenos adults looking at us. i walked back to my perch, “I can do the dance.”

On the ride home, i realized the cavs game was on. Adi called me wanting to know what was up.
Adi: “where are you”
me: “coming home from south street”
“Oh, whats everyone else doing?”
“i dont know ask”
“okay, i might rent a movie.”
“okay, can you check the score?”
“no”
“just go on cavs.com”
“they are on the computer”
“ask them to do it.”
“no”
thats how it went. so i ended up texting Gina, Courtney, Cody, Sarah, even Katie to fin out what the score was. Court and Cody responed w/ we are winning and we are up by 20! woohoo! getting home i rushed upstairs (we only get 15 stations down stairs) and flicked on the TV to catch the last seconds… except it was over. So i watched the post game comments and interviews and press conferences to find out what happned. Well D.West only got like 4 points of (what like) 105? and LeBron shared the ball and Soulja boy can go shooot himself now.

So then i check my email and see i got that lottery thing again. Well boston didnt win so we find out who we playin TODAYY and that determines if i can go or not. so hopefully not Boston (though most likely gonna win.) but if it is Boston, i cant go.. again. and there is not gonna be any tickets left… again, so blah.

but i am so happy anele and adi got me into south street!!! yipeee

OH and freakin IRON MAN may be one of the best movies ever made. It has action, humor, and a kinda hot smart main character. its pretty sweeet, even though i got lost in the theatre and chloe tried to help by raising her hand up which i couldnt se than i just walked down the aisle and she grabbed me and it was so strange -gasp- but yeah saturday was fun too.

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