The past couple of days have been interesting. Lemme think.

Okay Tuesday (im all about days here) i was really tired and at lunch, Adi came into school. why? well because she had ‘a lot’ of work to do. i have never gotten to sleep in or miss a day of school for school work… So i kinda started off on her and ranted about it. I said something like “you should never skip school for a paper or shit or word or anything!” … ha. Well, Adi was looking off and smiling and i looked and anele was right there. Adi said she skipped word stuff. and i just said thats her problem and walked away. I told andie about it the next day and she said call em out! but it would be better nicer… haha yeah, nice. I don’t think i am nice. whatever…
Well speaking of Wednesday, Andie time was nice. It was awesome actually until halfway into it, she tells me she had some news….
DUDE this was terrible really. She tells me she is going to chill… uhh. damn i thought. she told me i didn’t need a discipler anymore either… i seriously wanted to cry.. and eventually did. and blew up at my dad… so it kinda sucked but i was still happy? i mean like the more not-depressed i get, the more i am bad?? well i know i havent been all too horrible since my episode but after not being bad, once i was stupid it really hurts to get yelled at.. whatever,

skip to FRIDAY:
Well, the seniors left… yeah it was pretty sad for some people. Like katie was torn up about josh zivny leaving (heehee whatta loser) JK. And jocelyn was sad an=bout her frind dan, i was sad about tall hot guy *(yeah riiighht lol), lauren cried cause her bff left, and coutrney realized there were less people in the school… lol it was funny.

Overall, it was a good day. I slept, finished the bathrooms, and then went to cell. At anele’s house, Mia brought me a Jr. Whopper… (so b was kinda right) i hadnt eaten anything so after eating taht, then popcorn, then cupcakes… i got sick and a headache and just wanted to sleeep, which i felt bad about cause i was at Jeffis’s party.. but it was fun, and i hope he had a good time because hes awesome. and he turned 18. and we played psichiatrist (NOT spelled right but if you read it, youll get it).

SATURDAY:
i went to target with hilary. man she is such a great friend. i mean really. she talks like A LOT but its not like she talks about her the whole time. she has concerns for her friends and she always makes me talk about stuff thats bothering me… so its not like she dominates (sometimes she does if we are with a lot of peopele) but together, its really fun.
She has some family issues. who am i kidding, she has a lot. with her mom. And she tells me about them as soon as we walk into target.
“i have to thank you for getting me out of my house!”
uhh what do i say to that!!??
“Why whats goin on?”
she tells about her mom always yelling at her and her brother.. her brother going to st. louise for college. Her mom tells them things like ‘i cant believe i gave birth to a spawn of satan’… WTF!!! and her family is christian… i know she is a christian but hasnt been to church in awhile. she told me like a month ago taht she would like to check out mine but with an invitational every saturday and meets thursdyas, she hasnt been able to. (and she has family over all day today which she is also upset about :[. )
So her brother tells her he cant wait to get far away from here and not coming back on breaks.. wow, i dont think i have ever felt that way.
And now hilary wants to go to hawaii (lol) or harvard for college. like somewhere away from here and her family. I just think that is so sad. And she is always doing stuff for oter people but how can i help her with this? So if anyone reads this, join me in praying for her and her family. i’m sad for her.

BUT,
J-BUTT wants to hang and i think shes starting to feel lonely. this is a GOOD thing! she is one person i had tried to get to word and then stopped for awhile. she is actually seeking me out trying to hang out. (she isnt one to seek, everyone else usually flocks towards her.) Everyone who is her friend has had a jbutt issue, im sure. where one feels they are just another person to her. She told me once that she saw me as a person that really listens and she feels i care about her, which is good news to me seeing as though i am a mean person around here, i guess… Its weird, my non christian friends tell me how much i listen and how they feel i care for them (like jbutt, katie did, courtney and katie m.) this is cool and i feel cool. but i come to word and nicole goes, elli is mean. adi says i am not a good listener at all (though asta contradicts this, word up to ya sista.) and that makes me want to be mean. and i dont see myself being TAHT mean but i guess i am terrible… thats something i have to work on for sure. How is it that i am better with non christians? maybe they are just more intersting… just kidding, lol. im gunna stop talking now.