I just wrote a long depressing blog about how I am sad that everyone thinks of me as negative. I deleted it because that is totally ironically stupid. Besides, contrary to popular beliefs, I am hardly every depressed! I am so happy right now I just thought, whats the point of whining over something that i think i am improving? i just want to be known for my hits not just my misses.
Moving on; Carrie and I are teaching cell tomorrow! I am so pumped for it! I love making all the outlines, looking up verses and organizing the information into an interesting facts. I do not feel stressed at all. The Lord totally has his hand on this teaching, I can feel it. I just hope I dont screw it up beforehand. I am going over 2 attributes of God: ompnipotent and love. Have you ever had the feeling when you just realize how amazing God is? It kind of feels like a refresher. Every couple of weeks, God just reminds me of how amazing he really is and what an awesome thing he did for us! I mean, how come I am so selfish when he did this selfless act-for me!! Wow!
I lost my tennis match in tennis class today. It was fun playing, but I realize i hav just gotten worse from starting the class that is supposed to improve my ‘skills.’ I am apparently random when happy.
I am happy. I am joyful! The Spirit is in me and I cannot stop praying. I love the feeling of God loving me. I only hope that everyone else can know this feeling too. Including Courtney, Kenni, “Stefanie” lets call them, even J! How awesome is it to have the Body of Christ as a family? Thank you, Lord! i feel as though all of my problems are solved forever except for the fact that my World history book is waiting to be read and the review worksheet for the test is not completed. I hardly know the names of the battles for the test tomorrow and have forgotten to get ads for the newspaper for the past 2 months. I dont mind, as long as i can sleep with this feeling… heck, I don’t think I will be able to sleep!
goodnight!
but trust me,
i hush puppies.
Sorry, i am listening to Lupe.
<a href=”http://photobucket.com/images/lupe fiasco” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj1/burnin_hedgehog/Lupe%20Fiasco/lupe2.jpg” border=”0″ alt=”lupe fiasco Pictures, Images and Photos”></a>
So i have been thinking a lot lately about relationships. I feel like i am always dissing people, which i am.. and i especially feel bad about one person. I dont exactly have many best friends. In fact, i havent had pretty tight people for awhile. I used to have like five best friends. There was Cara, Heather, Bianka, Miranda and Asta. Then there was Kelly, Bianka, Mallory, Sam and Asta. Then Courtney, Sarah, Lindsay, Gina and Asta… you get the point. Well I moved, Cara stayed. same with Heather. Bianka left. Miranda moved to Singapore, came back and left. Kelly never accepted me after we didnt see eachother for a year. Bianka left… Mallory left badly. Sam left horribly. But Asta has always been there. Yeah, we have had so many rough patches but i have only focused on those. This weekend, a rush of realization came over me and i had a sense of what she is going through. I never could relate to her on this level. I always wondered why i couldnt say everything or why she was always talking. Well i figured out why and im not going to say it here. But i feel for her. And i realize that she DOES care for our relationship as much as i do. What can i say? I cant be here without her. (yes i say that right)
Its amazing how God works through people. Seeing as though my two best friends are completely opposite of me, its humorous actually. Asta and Lauren, man its so nice to know i will live with them forever! i just have to think of this and my whole day gets better. i dont have the feeling of school ending when i know im not going to see my new friends for awhile, or ever again. but then i think of my other good friends: adi, anele, chloe, shelly, becky, katy, brooke, brandi, Catie… all yes. But what about Jocelyn, no. Courtney? no. Kenni? no! Im not going to live with them forever. I think this is my main focus for outreach, it really gets me going. Courtney is one of my best friends. Knowing she is not a christian, i die everytime i think about it. It just ruins my whole day. I would love for people to pray for her if they read this. She is realizing that living for soccer and school is pointless so i hope to talk to her on that issue. God, i love her so much and i just wish i could make her a christian sometimes, but that is ridiculous. I want to see er happy like we are. So i hope she comes to homechurch!
please Lord i pray that she does!
you want the real shit, well i got ya
