“Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, baby
Just to let me down (let me down) and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all) you never call, baby
When you say you will (say you will) but I love you still
I need you (I need you) more than anyone, darlin’
You know I have from the start
So build me up (build me up) Buttercup, don’t break my heart”
I have had that song stuck in my head since friggin’ Sunday!! Though it is very catchy and annoying, I like it because of the lyrics because I can relate to them… as I am sure every high school girl can relate. The cool thing, I think, is that its a dude singing it. I hardly think of guys having the same feelings as girls… which they are not the same–in a sense–but you get what I’m getting at.
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Watching the best movie ever last night, because Jeff left it at my house, it got me thinking about it. AGAIN.
everytime i watch that movie, it dazzles me. Like, how could somebody be so creative to think of that whole plot? Not even that, how is someone creative enough to think of all those crazy little details, like:
“…I am Jack’s colon.”
“I get cancer and kill you.”
I was trying to think of my favorite part, line, character…
My favorite part is definitely every part. I cannot decide. The addiction to peer groups is such a crazy and creative segment but the chemical burn is way awesome. I honestly stayed up, staring at the glowing stars on my ceiling thinking about this… it was fun.
My character? Well I love oh so much, but the clever narrator is way more captivating. But, I can say I like them both because in the end, you find out… well, i guess i wont spoil it for everyone.
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since nobody knows what the hell im saying, i’ll explain it… haha, or at least try:
hear oh hear, my dear year!
For you, i have left not one tear
(im talking about a year, 2008 to be exact. I am not sad that you left)
You have not left with such disgrace,
I just rejoice being rid of your face
(It wasn’t a bad year, im just glad its over.)
You were kind and warm,
Yet that caused a storm
(I was too comfortable, so that was a problem)
The want to be rid of thee
Was overruled by your silent plea,
(I tried to forget eveything, but i was brought back.)
‘Yes?’ said I
to the voice of my,
‘Do you remember me?’
said the woeful she
(personification…)
‘Dear, how I cannot forget!
Your laughter is a magnet,
(I cant forget the year, it brought me much joy!!)
In your eyes, i see no demise,
Alas, I must say my goodbyes.’
(Theres nothing horrible that happened, but its done and so i have to get over it.)
She then asked what good was she.
O what she cannot see!
(the year seemed like nothing happened, but…)
The warm breeze i can only dream
and the soft water make me beam!
(Florida was the best!! the warm breeze so soft and comforting bringing my spirits up!)
The cool touch of night after a hot day,
Alas, it was not even the month of May.
(yeah, spring break..)
Though she was not always so kind,
she couldnt be to cure my bind.
(We did have a tough spot…)
She brought me together,
seeing the truth alas, nether.
(I was distracted but God brought me back.)
She let me live on my own
though i could not, i was shown.
(I got tossed around by myself but came back)
She made me doubt,
Squirm, cry out!
(i got mad.)
But settled those pains through prayer
to a much, much higher player.
(God helps, haha)
Not only once was this need be,
For my mind is proud–is me.
(It happened more than once, cause im too proud.)
Thoughts remained too strained, too proud
I tried balancing on my own little cloud.
(again i was in my own world.)
Up in the air with no one around,
I could feel as the 08 winds knocked me down!
(i got knocked back down to the real world.)
The princess had fallen, along with her crown.
At the time I sure indeed did frown.
But Eight brought me back,
Her promise was none to lack.
(I learned my mistakes)
And as she left, never to be seen again,
my cold 08 heart was indeed slain.
(08 left me another person)
She leaves now with peace in my book,
regretting nothing from me which she took.
For she stole a girl who was not me.
she stole a girl as cold and fearful as she.
But what she gave was so much more.
To love is what she left for.
(yeah, the end! :] )
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Oh hear oh hear, my dear year!
For you, i have left not one tear
You have not left with such disgrace,
I just rejoice being rid of your face
You were kind and warm,
Yet that caused a storm
The want to be rid of thee
Was overruled by your silent plea,
‘Yes?’ said I
to the voice of my,
‘Do you remember me?’
said the woeful she.
‘Dear, how I cannot forget!
Your laughter is a magnet,
In your eyes, i see no demise,
Alas, I must say my goodbyes.’
She then asked what good was she.
O what she cannot see!
The warm breeze i can only dream
and the soft water make me beam!
The cool touch of night after a hot day,
Alas, it was not even the month of May.
Though she was not always so kind,
she couldnt be to cure my bind.
She brought me together,
seeing the truth alas, nether.
She let me live on my own
though i could not, i was shown.
She made me doubt,
Squirm, cry out!
But settled those pains through prayer
to a much, much higher player.
Not only once was this need be,
For my mind is proud–is me.
Thoughts remained too strained, too proud
I tried balancing on my own little cloud.
Up in the air with no one around,
I could feel as the 08 wonds knocked me down!
The princess had fallen, along with her crown.
At the time I sure indeed did frown.
But Eight brought me back,
Her promise was none to lack.
And as she left, never to be seen again,
my cold 08 heart was indeed slain.
She leaves now with peace in my book,
regretting nothing from me which she took.
For she stole a girl who was not me.
she stole a girl as cold and fearful as she.
But what she gave was so much more.
To love is what she left for.
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—->> weirdest thing ever written, if you dont know what it means, i will try to explain lol
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“My name is Maddy,” so she says, “I watch kids for a living.” La la la lie
“I went to high school in Pennsylvania and college in Akron. I’ve traveled a lot lately but I am looking forward to staying put.
Maybe that wans’t a lie, I couldn’t tell.
“Tell me some of your strengths.” His eyes steady, honest, truthful.
“I am a very diligent worker and when I put my mind into something I am completely focused,” more like completely obsessed, at least I knew that to be true. “I also care… and am very honest…” She let her voice trail on that one.
A few hours ago I was Jenny. I woke up Jessica. Now I’m Maddy. I hardly can keep track. People see the blond hair, blue eyes and think of an angel. How long have I been running? How long have I been lying?
Waking up: one thing I am not good at. The hotel room was nice and fresh, perfect. My house will someday be so fresh and clean like this room. It was also open. The window let in a wealthy breeze that immediately calmed my body. My face relaxed and my muscles lost their usual stiff stature. I felt home.
Snapping back to the final interview, I organized my thoughts again, remembering my story. I’ve been through a couple for this particular job. The man in front of me still scribbling in his notebook. He looked up, hearing my sudden intake of breath.
“Thank you so much for considering me,” my smile took affect as his lips turned up and cheeks flushed.
“Well Miss Wilson, you seem very responsible. I think you have every reason to get this job,” he tried to sound professional again.
I said my thank yous and stood up to leave the bank. I rustled some things around in my purse, peeking through my hair at the security systems and hallways. They would never know. Two men at the desk watched me, whispering as i walked out.
My plan was simple: get the job, earn some trust, and after some time, get his box.
My heels left their hollow ecko in the lobby as I let my breath go. This job was temporary, due to two conditions: first, after the outcome of this extravaganza-whatever it may be-i will have to get far from here. And two; i cannot stay in one place for more than a month.
Ohio was always my home. The weather would never stay the same for more than one day and everything always changed, it was perfect. City folk would never consider anything big in Ohio, though they are always wrong.
New York city was too different for me. I never had a problem with big cities but New York was just too big, someone was always watching. I like privacy.
Suddenly my phone rang.
“Yes?”
“Did you get the job?” his voice breathed quietly.
“Most Likely,” I could hear him smile. “So I’ll meet you at the place.”
The phone went dead. It took about a second for two cabs to pull right in front of me. I chose the less grimy one.
I handed the driver a business card, he looked at me suspiciously but my smile softened his face. He read the card and started driving.
“So miss, you look a little flustered. Big city too much?” His Brooklyn accent was something you heard in the movies, then again, my life wasn’t much different.
“Oh no, haha. Trust me, i can handle it. But, interviews are always stressful,” I said almost too friendly. I guess I was a little flustered today. He went on to talk about how many jobs he has had, about how he doesn’t like being in one place… It doesn’t help with getting girlfriends either.
“Tell me about it,” I said almost inaudibly, we were almost there.
“What’s your name anyways?” I cringed at his improper english… Well, we all have our days.
“It’s Melissa,” I smiled in response, preparing to get out. I took a wad of cash and handed it to him. “Thank you very much…”
The air was filled with the smell of frying fish outside the open restaurant. The heated breeze carried the smell of the Atlantic filling my head. New York was only enjoyable in June.
I entered the small, but chic, square of a building, wedged between two moderately big business buildings. The market was filled with professional looking people on various laptops, black berries, or peering into a hug volume. The softness of the chatter disguised the harsh arguments under each breath, i felt as though i stuck out. I looked down at my business clothes, just to be sure.
I searched the room, surveying every face. Did he come? And there he was–of course. His shirt was a blue button down, the sleeves shoved up past his elbows with the first buttons unbuttoned. He looked so relaxed in the back compared to the rest of the people. I walked up to him, trying to make my face less anxiou.
“Hello Lacy, your looking as spectacular as always,” he said without looking up. No wonder I always change my name, Lacy was so… feminine.
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