About a week ago, I think, I was telling one of my great friends that I am never going to be “ok” in answer to an innocent question: Are you okay? Well, now that is kind of embarrassing… I’m such a drama queen.
But, a couple of days ago I found myself thinking I am happy now but i am always going to be sad. I stopped myself as I thought of what the hell I was thinking… And I remembered what my mom said once again. Sometimes, when I was acting too angry or being a grinch, my mom would tell me i was being irrational and that this was my choice to be this way. I would storm out thinkinhg that i was perfectly rational for acting this way because I couldn’t control how I felt!
Well, I think one thing 2009 brought was that that wasn’t rational at all… because I can choose to be happy and I can choose to be mad. And I feel so free.
I changed the thought: I will always be happy. I may be sad now, there are many things that make me sad, but I have a true joy in me that burns so bright that I feel I have no reason to be sad ever. It’s a true love that I would do anything for. I want to share it with everyone! So there is no cold again.
I can choose to be joyful, to love people, to be productive and to spread the Word… it’s all free will, and it is so beautiful!
Then, I was watching battlestar galactica (for those of you who haven’t gotten this far yet, I will try to be as vague as I can) where one cylon was angry for being so human… but it didnt faze the other as she said that free will is the greatest thing. HAH cylon! they are pretty smart little shits. No lie.
i just felt I had to share that because I am choosing to share it because I am choosing to be happy 
That fire that they call love can’t go out. Sometimes it is hidden and it’s true, the real love is scarce. But the love is strong even in the weak. And that love has gone through so much to get to the enslaved, and to show a path of freedom through the flames, all for the evil. What a great love!
Thank the Lord,
Merry Christmas!
“this is real, this is me, I’m exactly where i’m supposed to be…”
Hey… cool revelation Elli! Thanks for sharing it.
It’s so great that you’re learning the “secret to contentment” at such a young age! I could have spared myself a lot of misery had I caught on to this sooner! (Not that I’ve mastered contentment, as I’m still quite a whiner.) Anyway, keep remembering all you have to be grateful for, and keep sharing that with your friends and helping them to learn this great truth, too.
Cool Elli! I have a hard time not letting my emotions control me too. It’s so sweet to be able to spread the message of peace with God and joy that goes beyond our circumstances with other people.
I Love You Elli! Merry Christmas!